Fan Memories of the
Bottom: Weapons Grade
Y-Fronts Tour
 

The first ever review from October 3, 2003 by Lamburt:

So everyone was wondering what the boys had for us after a near two and half years in the wilderness. Well apart from Rik Mayall's, 'sitcom'.

Rapidally moving on. I guess everyone was wondering if they could still cut it, if their material would stand the test of time. They obviously thought so, being that their opening night was in the hells' city of comedy - Glasgow. A simple answer to a simple question? - yes.

Yes for people wanting to see their Bottom. For people wanting to see the duo in action again. It's all there, near enough. Incidentally, it's been ten years since the first Bottom live hit our shores. Ten years, for those not dedicated to their theatre going.

Anyway, I guess by this point, most will be aware of potential spoilers and have had enough time to scroll or click away from it. It's Bottom through-and-through, more towards the 2001 show than past efforts. Points to add in backing this up a - I've seen the show - only kidding. The violence seems a lot, lot more animated, played to maximum affect, if a little overcooked. It plays on the new wave of audience, ones' who have been moved to Bottom through the violence. No doubt, it's a main part of the show but for most who have learned to accept it as a small part throughout the years, it becomes more and more overbearing to see most revel in this than the actual performance. In the first half, we see more instruments than ever before, all used to generate frenzy from the audience.

Don't really want to give the plot away for those who don't read interviews. The first half is set in a lavatory, which is never explained. Yes, Rik gets his trousers and pants down. Although, the swearing seems to have been toned down, probably why I saw children wandering around with their parents. You heard me right, children, yee high. Second half is set outside a time machine, basically a small shed in the middle of the stage.

Certainly it's a great show but you can't help feeling it's a greatest hits package twisted round to fit in with the new wave of Bottom fans and I mean a tidal wave. The norm tonight being couples and groups of rowdy men out for a night on the piss. Not complaining, being that I was sitting myself, all alone. Although though I say, greatest hits, the script is brand spanking new, minus a few slip-ins, oh I say. Mayall and Edmondson have done themselves proud when it comes to putting their mark on their Bottom. It's crammed full of Bottom jokes, though not necessarily a bad thing, when you've heard one - you've heard them all.

It's great watching two masters at work, not bouncing off each other but honing their routine to a fine art. Mayall forgets only a few lines, not bad for an opening night. Although he dries up, lack of water or according to Edmondson - he hasn't taken his pills. On saying that, it could actually be true. Gone is the agile prowl, replaced by a quick walk. His heightened excitement, his thurst for words are lost within a tight script. It was, still is on most occasions, great to see Mayall go at it and there were some great moments tonight, now tomorrow. When Mayall dries up, when he says one word instead of another, Edmondson jumps on him from a high height. Even more so than previous shows, he really hones in on it. Refusing to let go and picking Mayall apart bit-by-bit. Aided by an unintentional part of the show in the audience, although many would rather he or she be out in the car park. The he she in question, shouts abuse, random events, not interrupting the flow but making many wish the 'Have a wank' sequence was left on the cutting room floor.

There's some in-jokes about Mayall's accident, about the locals. By the time they tour the length and breadth of the Britain - they'll hate every part of it, this being Richie and Eddie. By the time the end comes, you feel truly moved. Like seeing an old friend, only he's gone a bit forgetful. Mayall and Edmondson forgetting what it means to most having them on television, being involved in something and not brushing down their particulars every two years for another night out. In doing this, they're ripping the heart out of everything Bottom live stood for. It's being turned from the most obscene live show in a toned delight for those wishing to have a look at their heros for two hours every two years - mummy got custody. They said they like being the Rolling Stones, they won't when they're dead.

It's not so much a different show, a different act, it's a tribute act of themselves. They're turning into their own tribute act. I'm not trying to put everyone in a downer but when you're slapped around the face with a £23.50 ticket, merchandise is sky high (near five t-shirts with nothing but text, glasses, cups, posters, programmes, hats, jumpers) - it truly feels like alternative comedy is dead. Replaced by a hyperstate of arenas and hotdogs.

Don't get me wrong, there are some truly genuine genius moments that could only come from the pen of Mayall/Edmondson. It's stuffed full of classy, crass one-liners and full of musical interludes. One being a Woody Allen/New York/Rap parody, Edmondson's astounding Western spiel, an opera with Eddie's small pants and a trip down memory lane with some famous friends. All these have to be seen to be believed, true a gift from the comedy God. Almost, almost, worth the admission price alone, if not to see Mayall and Edmondson. Not without the ending, I'll not tell you but you'll see the 'tribute act' term ring in your ears. All and all, I was first out my seat, followed by all, giving them a rousing standing ovation. Not one, twice, after all, they've gave us the same thing twice - only kidding, wink, wink. The boys are back in town. Forget what you've read and enjoy the show. It's a fantastic night out and some of the one-liners will have you floored, just remember - the background/outside element is all but a dream.

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!! by Calendula

I was at Oxford yesterday and that was bloody flipply nipply shatteringly and monumentally FABULOUS!!! I have not enough vocabulary to say how that was great!!! ;D ;D ;D

My 3 friends (Axel, Julien and Ingrid)and me arrived in England (Dover)at 8.30am. We drove to Oxford and we were in the front of theater at 11.30am; we had to wait for the beginning of the show at 7.30pm! So we visited this marvelous town and 2 traditional old English pubs ;D. In the afternoon, my friend Ingrid looked for tea so we had to make shopping in the center of Oxford.

AND THAT'S ARRIVED!!! Ingrid said:"it's RIK" and it was him with a coffee in his hand amongst the crowd in the center of Oxford :o Julien said:"Mr Mayall!! Mr Mayall!!"

Rik stopped and said "yes, hello!!" and he tried to speak not too loud!! Axel said:" hush hush Julien!! Stop!!! Mr Mayall doesn't want a riot!!" Julien said and showed BOTTOM LIVE on the Rik denim jacket: oooh I see you are anonymous!! Rik laughed and was agree with him!!

Axel said":do you remember we are the French from Brighton? and we come with 2 another French fans !!"

Rik said: "yes of course how are you?" and shook our hands with a great smile he said in French "BONJOUR MESDEMOISELLES"

Rik: are you here for the show? All: yes !! Rik laughed and said:Ok we will see us tonight then

Axel said:"Did you enjoy the bottle of wine??" He said:"yes yes it was very good wine !! thank you again " Axel:"And did Mr Edmondson drink it too?" Rik: "yes we drank it together of course and that took till...(he thought) Sunday er... Tuesday!! We finished it on Tuesday very good wine. Ade was ill with this wine ahahah no only joking he loved it!!ahaha Okay see you this evening then; I must go. I am going to work!! bye and he went away!!!

We were completely surprised and him tooo :o :o :o

Shopping shopping shopping and return to the theatre for trying to see Rik again.

We talked with a woman at the theatre's reception and she was French and she asked to the stage manager if we could come in to see the backstage but Rik and Ade were not here. So we can't (I heard that once I can't remember when????) but we could wait for them at the reception :D

Rik arrived and seemed to be speeded up but actually no. The Rik's driver said to us: Bonjour!! and I shook his hand. Ohh good I loved that guys :)

All:BONJOUR!! Rik: hey Frenchies!!!!!how are you since this afternoon!! all: very good!!

He signed autographs to other people but a man's pen was fucked and I gave him mine. I said: I am equipped!! Rik laughed: I am sure you are!!

He signed Ingrid's autographs and Axel asked for photos . Me:”can I have a kiss on the lips please Mr Mayall?”(I had rehearsed this sentence all the day)  Rik (large smile with a sweet look):a kiss? of course!! HE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS That was wet, sweety and you know …. OHHHHHH GOOOOOD

Julien said to me :”lucky bastard!!! (with a big French accent and with Eddie’s voice) Me: normal I am a girl you know!!!!! Rik was ROFTL and asked to Julien to say it again!! He was very amusing by the tone of Julien’s voice. People and he laughed again. Axel: please again one more kiss for the photos (thank you Axel) HE KISSED ME AGAIN !!!!!!!! Rik signed an autograph for Julien on a hot nudy magazine, he laughed at loud and he looked this magazine with a great attention. Rik:” yeahhh,very good!”

Me:”I have got a present for you and you must wear it at the BBC” I gave him the t-shirt (FUCK ME I AM FAMOUS) Rik(ROTFL): ”yeahh!! thank you very good !!! very very good I love it, thank you!!

He took my shoulders and asked for taking photos ” for the publicity” he said He showed the t-shirt to the Axel’s camera.(photos, photos and photos…)

Rik: “thank you I must go now!!bye!! “All:”thank you and good show” He left us very rapidly.

Julien and I were very happy and while we were waiting for Ade, we were having a fight with our y-fronts pants. He hurt my eyes. Bastard!!!!! People who were waiting laughed a lot!! We asked to the Rik’s driver to go to the backstage but he can’t let us come inside; I am very sorry, it’s worth to try!!

Ade walked on the street and I shouted:”c’est Eddie,c’est Eddie(it’s Eddie)!!!!!” No one moved and Ade continued to walk still he was at the stage door without seem disturb by me

Julien (with Eddie’s voice in “fingers “ with taffy O’Jones’ car keys):hahahahhahah harhar Mr Edmondson just one autograph!!! Ade stooped and started to signed autographs. He was not happy and relax to do it. He was a little bit stressed although we were only 6 at the stage door!! We said: bye thank you and good show!! Ade said bye bye and left us without smile or pleasant look!! what a shame!! So I have Eddie’s autograph .

The show was fantastic. We were sitting front row ,on the center of the row. Bloody good seats. Rik could sweat on us lol!!!

Rik and Ade lost their lines and Rik started to giggling. I laughed at him very very loud and I pointed my finger on him then he saw me he laughed more and more and tried to recover his calm

Ingrid took a photo and he saw her and he made a pervy thing with his tongue during the show for her. He spit out some tic tac on Axel then he laughed.

Rik laughed at Oxford people and walked on the stage on one leg with a weird accent fooking hell we are going to the university arghhj ahahahrrrr!!! and Eddie said” what the fuck are you doing ? and he laughed at Rik!!! Rik said something like “fucking town with a lot of students’ bicycles”

When he masturbated Eddie, he threw the sperm on us and he pointed us he said it’s him it’s him. He looked at us sometimes that was very funny. At the end of the show, Eddie and Richie said: take off your pants we want to have pants especially girls ‘pants. That was the moment , we threw our 20 underpants with a little French flag on them like a big tidal wave. They were so surprised and Rik said with a little smile: no more French pants!!! Eddie and Richie said press the button and their underpants felt on the stage. Eddie was looking for his pants because the stage was full of our pants. Rik picked them up to put them near the Turdis and he made two of our undies around his neck, they started the pants song . BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

The Stage door again. Rik came out and said I am going to sign a couple of autographs;We were 35 people. He saw us and said HEY !!!! THE FROGGIES!!!!! He signed Axel’s program, Marie’s (Madam Swish) pic and he signed for all the other people. He signed all the stuffs without making a little note just his name because we were too numerous. He wanted to do a stuff for each people. He took a couple of photos. He kissed Ingrid on the mouth and Julien said “ oooohhhh She is mine!!!” Rik laughed and said “sorry!!”

Then he said: Come on everybody can you hear me??? Me: YES!!!!! (no one answered except me so he laughed) Rik: Is someone who called Lucy here??? Me: YES ME!!!(Rik laughed) He said to me: “By the way bloody good t-shirt I love it a lot!!” (or something like that)

He had a girl’s pants for a girl who called Lucy (she gave it to him before the show for signing on it). So, he took her by the hand (he looked at her with a pervy look and she was blushing she had fear to follow him) and was trying to force her following him behind his car. I was completely upset and I thought why?? Why her??Why does he want to go at his hotel with her?? But he didn’t want that. He took only photo with her and that’s it!!! PHEW!!!

I was near Rik’s driver and he sighed to see Rik doing that. I laughed and I said every fucking night isn’t it?? He said yes !!! and we laughed !! He is very very cool I love him ahahah. I was near Rik’s car and Rik came back and signed like a fury on a bloke’s T-shirt and the bloke was completely and totally surprised. Then, it’s arrived AGAIN!!!!!!! He jumped at me he kissed me violently on the cheeks and he said to Axel: "take pictures!!"

We were cheeks to cheeks and suddenly he kissed me violently on the mouth. My eyes just popped out of my sockets. I was very very astonished!! Ingrid: 'OOOOHHHH ANNE-SOPHIE!!!!" He laughed while I was trying to recover my mind!!!

Me: "désolé (sorry) (I said that like I know I am charming) ahahahahahah” Rik laughed at loud and looked at me with a very sweet look WAHOU!!!!! His kiss was so wet and violent ahahah!!! He had to go and I said good bye to him with my Y-fronts pants. I shaked them like in the films (you know ….a white tissue in the railway station) He waved us and went away!!! SNIFFF!!! SNIFFF!! THAT WAS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

He is very charming!!!

Portsmouth by Calendula

Ok I was at Portsmouth (8th october).

It was fantastic!!! The first half was better than the 2nd!!! I laughed a lot!!! Rik forgot his lines only 15 minutes after the beginning of the show thanks to Eddie!!!

During a great fight with an extinguisher Richie really smashed  Eddie on the face and Richie broke his glasses!!! (10 feet into the air) Richie then offeres to sing to us whilst Eddie goes and gets some sellotape, but instead of that he pushed Richie violently and nearly off of the stage into row A!

After that Eddie said: "now it's my turn" and he kicked Richie in the bollocks 3 times but he touched really his bollocks and richie was unavoidably hurt!!!

He was sitting on the stage a hand on his bollocks!! the audience laughed alot and Eddie too!! But NOT Rik!!! He said: "shut the fuck up I am really hurt you know"

Later on, in the fast-forward version of the show, the fire extinguisher scene was re-enacted very slowly with a good 3 feet between Eddie' s head and the extinguisher! 

In the act 2,Eddie told to the audience to shout the magic words for help richie to have a wank!!! Then all the audience shouted 3 times "HAVE A WANK !!!" That was a fantastic moment!!

At the end, Eddie must play guitar but there was no sound and he said: "all the soundman are sacked" and then instead of playing guitar he was singing. There was a lot of round of applause for Richie or Eddie during the show!!! That was really funny!!

My favorite moment was when Richie mustn't move and speak and Eddie said to him : "sweaty has been wanker!!!" LMAO 

The afternoon I missed Rik at the stage door for only 5 little mimutes!! DAMN!! 

After the show, I was the most near him than other people(only 2 feet I think) and people answered for autographs but he said with an unpleasant tone : "NO we can't!!!" and he went away in the car!!!

There was kids with their parents and they were disapointed and some fans whistled because Rik was NOT very pleasant!!We were only 20 peoples at the stage door!!! 

THE SHOW WAS SO BRILLIANT and there is a lot of things to tell you but I don't want to spoil your pleasure so enjoy when you see it!! 

Brighton by Calendula

I am in paradise since Friday 31st October. I MET RIK. AHAHAHAHA!

We are going to the stage door with People's Poet (Joey) and Sinead and my boy friend Axel, and I recognized the car and the driver near the Hilton Hotel. It was Rik's car with his driver and then we rushed to the stage door for waiting him.

The car arrived and I shouted "It's him!!!!!" Joey didn't believe it but I recognized his face.

I rushed. My friend Axel said "Mr Mayall please can we have autographs?" He had a large smile and said "yes of course!!!" Axel said "we came from France to see you". He was very very astonished and he said "REALLY, from FRANCE?" He can't believe it that was funny. So I gave him the pen at his right hand I forgot he has left hand oops!!!!!!!!! He said "what's your name?" I said Anne-sophie and I spelt my name.

He signed an autograph for Axel, he gave his suitcase to his driver and take me by the shoulders and he said to his driver take this, I have to make my French publicity, and I was in his arms to take the photos. Then I said: "can I have a snog please?" He looked me and said: "a smoke?" I said: "no no I said a snog" (I showed him my right cheek) !!! And he laughed and he snoged me violently on the cheek, and then there were a lot of photos with Joey and Sinead and me So he asked to his driver to take photos then Axel was on it too. The driver asked if we were from the French radio and Axel said NO!!!! Argghhhh! If he said yes maybe we could go to the backstage to simulate an interview. When he signed my photo he said "I look weird on this one do I?" or something like that I am not English you know!!!!!!!

He coughed a lot of time during the encounter and my friend Axel said "if you continue to cough you will die on the stage like Molière" Rik laughed (Molière is a famous french writer he wrote a lot of play like Shakespeare, but he was a comedian not a tragedian and he died during a play) Rik was so nice and at the end he gave me my pen ahah with a large smile and he looked straight in my eyes. OOOHH god!!!!!

SO a man with helmet and biker's clothes walked on the street. He looked me straight in the eyes and me too and at this moment I thought that would be funny if he was Ade and HE WAS !!!!!!!!!

After the show I was waiting at the stage door again to see Ade. I told to my bf we should wait near the bike for not missing him, but I saw him go away with his bike. B'stard!!!!!!

The 1st Nov, I was waiting for Rik AGAIN with 2 American girls from JC's message board!! So he arrived and he recognized me and he said: "aahahah hello!!!" He was astonished to see us but very pleased!!!!

Axel said: "they are 2 American girls!!" He was glad again to see them and shaked their hands!! Axel shaked his hand and I wanted to do the same thing BUT he rushed on me and gave me a long and big hug and 2 violent snog on my cheeks. I was not expecting that!!! It was unbelievable.

He signed the program to Madam swish. I told him it was for a friend from Canada, "Marie" aka Madam swish. He said I was nice to think of her; Madam swish? OOOOOh I seeeeeee and he laughed. He signed Sheena program and then it was the time for the photos. I was on his left side.He said am I looking pretty for the photo and he brushed his own hair.

He looked me and asked me Am I pretty?? I said ER YES you are !!! I offered to him a bottle of white wine.He took it He was pleased and said Is it urine I said yes it's my urine; he laughed again; He said thank you very much etc.... then he went away a man walked on the street and I said he is eddie!!! he is eddie;!! my bf didn't believe me.he recognized him too and told ER!! MR EDMONDSON? Ade replied with Eddie's voice: NO-O!! I laughed at loud and I said YEs you are!! he looked me and went away in the theatre !!! Ahaha bastard again!!