B'stard on Stage as Blair's Right-Hand Man

The Times March 21, 2006

Alan B'Stard is back - and this time he's teaming up with Tony Blair.

The obnoxious politician, played by comedian Rik Mayall, is returning to the public eye after a break of 15 years.

His TV series, The New Statesman, has been turned into a stage play which opens next month.

B'Stard has switched from the Tories to New Labour and become the Prime Minister's right hand man.

The satire pokes fun at the Government and its fruitless search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

And Mayall joked that Mr Blair is already trying to silence him - two policemen interrupted the launch on the green outside the House of Commons to move the actor on.

Explaining B'Stard's defection to Labour, Mayall explained: "They are young, they are sexy and they are much more Right-wing than the Conservative Party."

Original writers Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran have teamed up again to write the play.

Gran said: "This is a terrible time for Tony Blair and New Labour. The Government is reeling - its three years since the invasion of Iraq and we still don't know why that happened.

"Only one man can save Tony Blair, and that's Alan B'Stard."

He added: "I really believe Blair has based his whole act on Alan B'Stard, but he's not as good at it."

The play finds B'Stard a multi-millionaire after cleaning up on Black Wednesday.

The oily politician is now installed at No 9 Downing Street and has a role as Tony Blair's "enforcer" - enlisting Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell to do his dirty work.

The writers have ensured the script is up to the minute - B'Stard is in charge of the "Price for Peerages" programme.

Gran said: "We are running like mad to keep up with the Government. They are making our lives quite difficult because obviously there are satirists in No 10.

"We never thought they would be quite so ghastly quite so quickly and that they would give us so much ammunition.

"We wondered about Alan changing sides a long time ago but New Labour was popular then.

"Now the time is right. You can't do something as beastly as we are going to do unless the party is lying on the floor with a big 'kick me' sign on it.

"Alan only exists when the animal is badly wounded."

Marks is a member of the Labour Party but a deeply disillusioned one.

He said: "I will never forget this Government has taken my country to war. We should always remember that and if this play makes a point of it, then so be it.

"I was completely taken in by everything Tony Blair told me from 1994 to 1997. Then there was the war. I am desperately disappointed.

"I think we are beginning to see that power corrupts. I just didn't think it would happen with this Government."

The play will feature Tony and Cherie Blair, Chancellor Gordon Brown and US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice - the latter becoming the object of B'Stard's affections.

Mayall, 48, is reunited with actress Marsha Fitzalan, who plays his scheming wife, Sarah.

The star of The Young Ones and Bottom is now fully recovered after a near-fatal quad bike accident in 1998.

The play opens in Brighton on April 19 - eight years to the day since he came out of a coma following the accident.

"It's the anniversary of the day I came back to life," Mayall said. "I think it's rather magical."

The play will tour the country from April - July with the possibility of a transfer to the West End.

 

Full tour dates:

Theatre Royal Brighton - April 19-22

New Wimbledon Theatre - April 24-29

Bristol Hippodrome - May 1-6

Oxford New Theatre - May 8-13

Grand Opera House York - May 15-20

Regent Theatre Stoke-on-Trent - May 22-27

Churchill Theatre Bromley - May 29 - June 3

Edinburgh Playhouse - June 5-10

Alexandra Theatre Birmingham - June 12-17

Opera House Manchester - June 19-24

Kings Theatre Glasgow - June 26 - July 1

Reading Hexagon - July 3-8

Theatre Royal Plymouth - July 10-15

New Victoria Theatre Woking - July 17-22

Milton Keynes Theatre - July 24-29