The New Statesman - Episode 2006: The Blair B'Stard Project

The Stage April 26, 2006

Four series of ITV's The New Statesman, with Rik Mayall's randy portrayal of Alan B'Stard MP, did almost as much as wayward Tory ministers to bring down both Thatcher and the Major government. 

Twelve years on, for this touring stage version, Marks and Gran revive their monstrous hero as a New Labour politician, ruling the roost at No 9 Downing Street alongside Clive Hayward's old Labour loyalist but with a venomous hatred of the Beeb to rival Alastair Campbell's - a satirical assault perhaps prompted by the authors' loss of BBC car park privileges, following their notorious McTaggart lecture. 

Elsewhere, to put it kindly, they find only soft targets, from Hoon and Nanny Hewitt to Cherie's hair and Gordon's monocularity, hardly the stuff of satire as names are dropped to trigger laughs, while B'Stard reaches a frenzy of C-word abuse with Her Majesty on the phone.

Cumbersome schemes involve Condoleezza (Alexandra Gunn) invading Norway in search of oil, a suicidal terrorist demanding WMDs and Tony having himself kidnapped to improve his poll ratings. Meanwhile Marsha Fitzalan, repeating her screen role, dons Avenger leather to bring her husband Alan to heel.

But what most delights the crowd is not the script but Mayall's knowing rapport with the audience and his outrageous clowning as he recovers from a night of whoring, followed by tireless frottage, wanking over internet porn, and embarking on athletic bonking with his latest parliamentary aide Flora (Helen Baker). His zip fly is ever ready for action, juvenile stuff maybe but fun for a youthful following with no political affiliations beyond the pursuit of a good laugh.

Production information

By: Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran

Management: Theatre Royal, Brighton with Howard Panter for the Ambassador Theatre Group and David Ian for Live Nation

Cast: Rik Mayall

Director: Jennie Darnell

Production information can change over the run of the show.

Run sheet

Theatre Royal Brighton
April 19-22 2006

New Wimbledon London
April 24-29 2006

Hippodrome Bristol
May 1- 6 2006

New Oxford
May 8-13 2006

Grand Opera House York
May 15-20 2006

Regent Stoke-On-Trent
May 22-27 2006

Churchill Bromley
May 29-June 3 2006

Playhouse Edinburgh
June 5-10 2006

Alexandra Birmingham
June 12-17 2006

Opera House Manchester
June 19-24 2006

King's Glasgow
June 26-July 1 2006

Hexagon Reading
July 3- 8 2006

Theatre Royal Plymouth
July 10-15 2006

New Victoria Woking
July 17-22 2006

Milton Keynes Theatre Milton Keynes
July 24-29 2006