A Character Advice Poem
by Lyndsey Allen
August, 2003

Richie my Dear
The signals are clear
If you want a bird so
Just be yourself, and show
How nice you are
(don't pull your pants up that far)

Colin you act like a weed
But it's your PA they need
If you left the band now
You wouldn't make it, anyhow
I know it's hard, but stick with it
Your playing isn't that shit.

Kevin Turvey you need help from me
Investigate fun things, can't you see?
Don't act so scared
And be prepared
Because that Parkeepers after you now
Keep away from him, don't ask me how.

Rick you need to stop the lie
'I'm not a virgin!' You cry
Don't let Vyvyan get to you
And write some poetry, new
Please be nice to Neil, mate
A guy like you shouldn't resolve to hate

Richie Rich, what can I say
You've made it anyway
I guess you don't need my help at all
Just ditch the silly hair, and stand tall.

Now onto the guy who needs no advice
Because this man is really nice
All his work will never fail
Because his name is… Rik Mayall

Back to the Poems
Back to By the Fans

Back to the Rik Mayall Webpage